Take a trip back in time with me and let's see how some of the greatest inventions were really created:
Ugg Ugga and his mate Uggette Ugga were sound asleep on the floor of their cave. It was a stormy night with lighting dancing across the sky and thunder that would have muffled the noise of a stampeding herd of mammoths. Uggette was having trouble sleeping for the very same reason that Ugg was not. ...
Ugg and some of his buddies had been out hunting for food when they found a big pile of half rotten fruit under some trees. Being very, very hungry, they tried a few pieces. Initially scowling at the taste, a miracle occurred. It seemed the more they ate, the better it tasted. It was not long before the mighty hunters began to find a lot of things funny that had never been funny before. For instance, suddenly, taking turns sneaking up on a sabertoothed tiger and pulling its tail seems like great sport. A while later, after discovering that the tiger did not find this sporting event quite as much fun as they did (fortunately, no lives were lost or else I'd have to start a new story line), our guys decided that hitting each other over the head with clubs and see who could remain standing the longest was great sport. They continued to play and eat the rotten fruit for several hours before returning to their caves. ALCOHOL WAS DISCOVERED!
Upon his arrival at his home cave, Ugg staggered over to his bed furs and collapsed face down. Uggette, having worked all day havesting nuts and berries tried unsuccessfully to get him to eat supper. Uggette finally gave up and curled into her own bed furs beside Ugg. In a stuperous sleep, Ugg soon turned over and began snoring quite loudly right into Uggette's ear. Uggette woke at the sudden onslaught of noise that sounded like some huge animal had been injured. Once she calmed down enough to realize the frightening noises were coming from Ugg, she grew worried that something was wrong. Uggette tried to wake Ugg up by pushing on him with her hand which caused him to roll over taking her sleeping furs with him AND the noise stopped. "Ah" she thought to herself, "the poor dear is cold and not feeling well" (I've already warned ya'll I don't do dialog).
Uggette found another skin to wrap around herself and curled back up to sleep. Shortly thereafter, Ugg rolled over again. This time, he not only started snoring again, but took the other sleeping fur. Uggette gave up trying to sleep and wandered to the opening of the cave to watch the storm unfold.
Of a sudden, a lightening bolt struck a tree beside the cave entrance. (Can you guess where this is going?) Uggette had see this happen before but there was something different this time. At the base of the tree, where a bunch of twigs and leaves were, there was something glowing like a star and little whisps of cloud looking things were coming from it. Uggette decided to take a closer look. As she approached, a gust of wind came up and made the glow even brighter. She found that the glow was coming from a small branch and when she reached out to touch it, it was warm. "Ahhhh," she thought, "Ugg is cold, steal furs to keep warm. If I take warm branch into Ugg, maybe Ugg will give fur back." So, being the loving mate she was, Uggette reached out to pick up the branch and found that it was too hot to pick up.
Uggette sat and pondered this for awhile. (No, not out in the rain. It was an area partially sheltered by an outcropping of rock beside the cave. I'm writing this and I can make the scene however I want it to be.) While she was sitting there she began picking up rocks for something to do. (There's nothing worse than a cold, stormy night, in a cave that you are sharing with someone who sounds like a T-Rex with a toothache.) She noticed that 2 of the rocks had kind of a flat surface. Being a pretty creative kinda gal, Ugg decided to try to pick up the glowing, starlike thing with a couple of the rocks. VOILA the first OVEN MITT came into being. (Aren't you glad they have improved on that technology over the centuries?)
Now, Uggette had a way to pick up the "uggabugga" (cavish for a hot, glowing, starlike thing) and take it in to poor old Ugg to keep him warm. Walking very carefully, she used the 2 rocks to carry the uggabugga in and placed it beside the only part of Ugg still exposed to the cold, his face. Given that Ugg had a wild mane of long hair, she was able to place the uggabugga right in a nice little nest of that hair to keep it protected while providing warmth to Ugg. Now that she had that problem corrected, Uggette pulled one of her sleeping furs back from Ugg and curled up to go to sleep.
Some time passed before Uggette was again awakened, but this time by a most unusual smell. She also found that a large part of the cave was now filled with that cloud like stuff. Turning to Ugg, she noted that the uggabugga had gotten a lot bigger and that Ugg's hair was now a lot smaller (at least on one side). This time she was determine to wake Ugg up so he could deal with the problem. She poked, prodded, and kicked until finally, Ugg jumped up with a start. Fearing that some creature was about to eat them, he grabbed the club and raced to the cave entrance to protect his home. This added just enough stimulus to the mixture of heat, fuel, and oxygen to cause Ugg's hair to ignite into a blaze of glory. FIRE WAS DISCOVERED.
Fortunately, Ugg freaked out and ran into the rain which doused the flames but not before the "BUZZ CUT" was invented. With an aching head (both from the rotten fruit and the burns) and a perplexed look on his face, Ugg stumbled back into the cave where he found Uggette sitting, warming her hands next to a pile of sleeping furs that were glowing and warm. Ugg slowly walked over to the uggabugga and looked at Uggette. Realizing he was holding something in his hand, Ugg looked down and noticed the club he was holding. Ever so slowly, a kind of internal uggabugga crept into his eyes, and his lips curled into a smile. Eyes roaming slowly from club to Uggette and back again .... Yepper you guessed it, MARRIAGE was invented.
Enough for now...have a great day.